Sunday, October 14, 2007

Not where I wanna be.....yet.

I have a plan. Several plans actually. Well, they are more like goals or ambitions....or maybe just wants that I need. I'm not really for sure but that is neither here nor there. The point is that I have to get my shit together. I'm on the verge but not quite there. I want to have what I used to have and these things may sound stupid or shallow but I don't care. Right now I need friends. A crew, like I used to have. The friends that I do have right now are not the dedicated friends that a girl needs. They are fair-weather friends and the weather hasn't been that fair if you know what I mean. Almost all the people around me aren't for real. I'm starting to realize that this is harder to explain than I thought. I know these people who have this group of friends and they are always together and are always there for each other and their worlds revolve around each other. I want friends like that! Where the hell are those people? I don't hang out with the right people in the right places and it has been quite frustrating lately. Friends should make time for their friends...I make the time but don't have the friends. I'm a loser of sorts I guess. But whatever....I'm changing so many things in my life right now. I'm actually working to become the person that I want to be. The person that I'm supposed to be. I wear the clothes I want to, I listen to the music I want to and I act the way I want to. I just need a backbone here. Everyone needs that. So, where's mine?

Apologize by OneRepublic

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