Sad excuses for being eccentric.

It's 2:50 PM and my phone has done nothing all day. It hasn't rung or beeped or anything. This is the sad reality I've come to realize is my life. No one is wondering what I'm doing or how I am. I have to ask myself why I let my life become this mess of nothing. What a wonderful example of a failure I am. How do I get out of this whole that I've dug for myself? I get more and more eccentric the more alone I become. That's not so bad I guess. I like being unique. But that hasn't really gotten me anywhere either. I'm so tired of my own personality. But what if this isn't my personality? What if a couple of years ago I decided to put on this facade and then I just got carried away and lost my real one? If that is actually the case (as random as it may be) how do I reverse this?? I'd love for someone to tell me but I am after all alone. If I were to tell everyone I know that I never wanted to speak to them again, what would they say? Would they beg me not to do that? Nope...doubtful. Would they say well okay, she has issues? That's more like how it would go down. But, whatever. I want to find new friends and new things so this will be all fine and great someday. This weekend I may just go clubbing and say screw em all. I need to dance. I went 80's dancing a couple of weeks ago and I love it so much. I need to go more frequently. That would be a hell of a lot easier if I wasn't scheduled for 40.5 hours of work this coming week! WTF??!! I love Candice but is it totally necessary for me to work that much! Los Hermanos is running me into the ground but I love it! I'm so oddly addicted to that place that I must be a masochist for sure. I guess I really love the deliciousness of making no money, being way too overworked and having customers annoying me 24/7. What is it about that place?? When I figure it out, I'll let you know. Everyone says the same thing...I can't get away from this place. When one of us does quit, we all watch them walk away but never follow. I am a sick masochist....we are all the sick masochists of Los Hermanos! I didn't wish to be this random throughout the whole blog but I always start writing and then forget why it was so bloody important for me to write that. Who am I??

I broke out my old favorite flannel shirt this morning and words can't express my joy to have it on my body. I'm secretly Kurt Cobain's little sister obviously. But this shirt always makes me wanna just sit around and smoke and listen to music. I should stop wearing it. I love it though. I found it in a thrift store in high school. Weird clothing is becoming an obsession for me. I want people to stare at me and wonder what I was thinking more and more. I love the looks on peoples faces! I am loving being random and odd more and more. Well, I think I've wasted enough time for now.

Down Now by French Kicks